truth

The Loss.

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What is the biggest loss you bear once you go through a difficult situation?

This is a question I have been asking myself for a few months now. In order to get the answer, I looked not only at myself, but at a number of people around who have faced situations unimaginable to themselves. What I realized was the fact, that very few of us have the courage to end the pain. We like to torture ourselves, to re-visit the mistakes of the past and to blame ourselves constantly for everything which is wrong, but that, I believe, is human nature, blaming is. You may blame yourself or someone else, but it is in our nature to find out whose fault was it. With all this crap about situation, blaming and where do I stand after a bad situation, I went back to the question I started with. The answer was simple. The biggest loss, after any situation, is the loss of SELF. Every time you go through a trauma, you lose a part of yourself you are never getting back, and this change is gradual, you’ll never know its happening, you may behave like a rock for a while, but too many shocks and you will be gone. I may sound like a hopeless git here, but the truth is that, this is what I have seen, not just in myself but in people around me. I lost a part of myself I priced most and there is no going back. I cannot be the same person anymore, no matter how hard I try and the truth is that I do not feel like going back to being that person, even if I miss that person inside me. Some would say that the change is for the better and that this is probably a better version of my old-self but I know myself, and I know that this is not a better version, at least not by the parameters I set for myself.

Bottom-line: After an undesirable situation, if there is something or some one you need to cry for, that would be you. Realize that your old self is dead, hold a funeral, leave some flowers and move on, because that’s the only choice you have.

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