selfish

The Loss.

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What is the biggest loss you bear once you go through a difficult situation?

This is a question I have been asking myself for a few months now. In order to get the answer, I looked not only at myself, but at a number of people around who have faced situations unimaginable to themselves. What I realized was the fact, that very few of us have the courage to end the pain. We like to torture ourselves, to re-visit the mistakes of the past and to blame ourselves constantly for everything which is wrong, but that, I believe, is human nature, blaming is. You may blame yourself or someone else, but it is in our nature to find out whose fault was it. With all this crap about situation, blaming and where do I stand after a bad situation, I went back to the question I started with. The answer was simple. The biggest loss, after any situation, is the loss of SELF. Every time you go through a trauma, you lose a part of yourself you are never getting back, and this change is gradual, you’ll never know its happening, you may behave like a rock for a while, but too many shocks and you will be gone. I may sound like a hopeless git here, but the truth is that, this is what I have seen, not just in myself but in people around me. I lost a part of myself I priced most and there is no going back. I cannot be the same person anymore, no matter how hard I try and the truth is that I do not feel like going back to being that person, even if I miss that person inside me. Some would say that the change is for the better and that this is probably a better version of my old-self but I know myself, and I know that this is not a better version, at least not by the parameters I set for myself.

Bottom-line: After an undesirable situation, if there is something or some one you need to cry for, that would be you. Realize that your old self is dead, hold a funeral, leave some flowers and move on, because that’s the only choice you have.

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Aren’t we mean?

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“No matter how good and sincerely you behave with people around you,they will always love you according to their need and mood.”
I came across this line yesterday when I was going through my sisters cell phone, this was a text someone had sent her. This text made me realize that people will love me according to their mood and need only because I will do the same.. It is my believe that human nature is mean. I have deduced from several happenings of my own life and of others life as well. We are all enslaved by our wishes and needs. From birth till death, we all thrive for our survival by using others. The first ones ever we use for our own good are our parents, we do say we love them, and there sure is a bond of attachment with them but we also know that we cannot leave them, for the loss will be our own, we love them, not just only purely but there is a matter of need in between. It sounds quite rude but it is the truth. Each and everything we do is for our own good; We study, because we know that it will secure our future, we make friends, because we cannot live alone, in school we need someone to be with and someone to help, and even otherwise we can’t stay alone for a very long time, so we need friends to prevent depression, we even help each other because we know that this help might be returned in form of a favour, we pray because we know that there are things out of our control and we need God/Allah to take care of us, so we ask him for everything we need, and even when we pray to thank Him we know deep down that His generosity is there and that He will grant us the better. In short, if we take a look around us, we do everything for our own self, love does exist, but we have to admit that we are mean. If someone is mean to us, we are also mean to someone else.. Only love which is true is that of God’s/Allah’s to us and that of out parents, who won’t get anything  by raising or taking care of us, but are always there for us..grinch