humour

SO RE-IRRI-LAT-ABLE..

Posted on Updated on

Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion

Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us CONFUSION.

blueblahblah_Large

As with most of the people, I feel like a fish out of water at times whenever we are visited by any of our relatives, or if, by an unavoidable circumstance, I am made to visit the relatives.

I simply cannot explain the awkwardness, the way they all seem to look at you as though you are an alien, and that typical dialogue,” You’ve grown so much!!”, makes me want to respond, “Actually, I didn’t have had a lot of choice for that aunty!!” But I cannot. Moreover, you are forced to smile every few minute at the face of a glaring relative, only to make sure they don’t that you are off colour, bored, sleepy, or anything of the sort. In short, such visits can be excruciatingly confusing, as you have nothing to talk about, yet you are bound to show that you are having the time of your life..

WELCOME TO AYIMAS!

Posted on

Daily Prompt: As Seen on TV

Write a script for a late-night infomercial — where the product is your blog. How do you market yourself? What qualities do you embody that other “products” don’t?

Are you looking for something to read? Is there  something you want to share? Do you want a type of reading material close to real life, yet amusing you with fictional and non-fictional work? Do you think that you want to write but have nothing to write about?

Here is the solution; Step in to the amazing world of ayimas, where you get to read the real life stuff. From real-life university stories, to inspiration, to fictional work close to life, along with thing which happen to all yet not expressed by most.  You are also accessed to one of the best thought provoking website which allows your brain to wander freely toward writing and polishes your skills well.  So here you have the best of all, and most importantly for free.

THE BEST PART:  YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PAY FOR IT! 

SO DON’T MAKE IT A MINUTE LATE. READ, ENJOY, AND SHARE. IT IS ALL HERE AT the ayimas!

Admit It.

Posted on Updated on

Daily Prompt: Sad But True

Tell us about the harshest, most difficult to hear — but accurate — criticism you’e ever gotten. Does it still apply?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us HARSH

Hmm.. Writing that would be actually to reveal my worst habit, but any ways, wouldn’t mind doing that.

The thing which I am most criticized about is actually my way of saying things. what mean to say hear is that I am often told that, Samia, your point is fairly OK, but you have a way of expressing it which is not approved my most. I actually have a very bad habit of pulling faces about things or people I don’t like, and it comes out when I opine about them, my words are not harsh, no, nor am I wrong, but my tone, as others tell me, is too harsh too digest.

The Reckless Me.

Posted on

Daily Prompt: The Full Moon

When the full moon happens, you turn into a person who’s the opposite of who you normally are. Describe this new you.full_moon_final_elfwood

I was doing my usual chores, minding my own business  and getting along with my routine work, I have quite forgotten that it’s the full moon night and its around 8:45, the time when the moon will shine to its full and will continue to gleam for the rest of the night. I wrench open the door of my cupboards,  grab a file containing my lectures, and walk over to the study table to do my assignment, When all of a sudden the moon came into view. A certain drift came over me and I dropped my pen without writing a single word of my assignment, threw my books away and decided to do it in the morning by copying from any friend, leaving my books exactly where they were and sprinted in the common, grabbed a glass, filled myself a chilling glass of a soft drink, grabbed a couch and the TV remote and started flicking off the channels, passing over from BBC world news, CNN and even my regular favourite, Style 360,I settled on a cricket match, without thinking a second about the time which was an appropriate one for me to watch routine serial. My younger sister came over and started asking if  have lost my mind, having watching the match but I did not respond, I felt too reckless to do so, she started the renewed shouts about my non-responsive mode but suddenly halted when she entered the room and saw my books hither and thither all over the place, again, I did not feel like responding, but when her voice came to a range to high for my tolerance, I told her to shut up and mind her own business, I don’t know what happened to her right at that moment but she dropped her head hopelessly, and went on to do some of her work. My younger brother stated calling my name from the next room to ask me for help with his homework, but my sister responded in a dull tone, “It’s full moon, don’t talk to her if you don’t want your head bitten off.” I was glad they did shut up and change the channel, and this time stopped at a music channel, which was playing one of the slowest song these days, what made me like it after all this hyper mood, I did not know, but after that one song, I switched off the TV and picked up my cell phone instead to play a game or two, but a lot of my friends had texted in asking about the assignment we had to submit the other day, but I was not concerned and therefore, I texted them the same, they texted again to convince me that I must do it but I was not bothered and in the end I stopped seeing their texts in the end, when y sister came to me remind me that I had to go to attend a friend’s wedding, and It was important for me to go, I did feel like getting out of the house, but had no inclination what so ever to dress up, so I changed into a dress which was reasonable but not festive, and was about to leave when my sister suddenly came again scolded me and asked me to change into something suitable when all of a sudden the door bell rang, she went to open the door and my mother and father came back. She was saying something in hushed voices to my mother after which she came to my room and slapped me hard on my face. I felt like I had woken up from a deep slumber and I was taken aback by the fact that I had to submit the assignment the other day and also clean up the mess I have created, my sister went into a renewed rant about the things I had disturbed and I was murmuring my apologies knowing about the harms I had done, getting started quickly as to all what I had to do before the next day broke..!!

In the Dead of the Night.

Posted on Updated on

Daily Prompt: The Clock

Write about anything you’d like. Somewhere in your post, include the sentence, “I heard the car door slam, and immediately looked at the clock.”

1287070360-14304-0

I was running very fast trying to get my class, but as much as I tried to be fast, my feet slowed down, it seemed that my feet were in a slow motion sort of thing and I really was unable to understand it.
I sat up straight, looked around, the room was exactly the same way I saw it last time, my bedside lamp was alight and cool summer breeze was ventilating the room well. The fan on the ceiling was rotating at a moderate speed. Perfect. I poured myself a glass of water from the jug which was also placed on my bedside table, I gulped the water and lied down, my mind wandered off to my family, they all might be truly enjoying the wedding they were gone to attend, they also asked me to come but since my final exams were due only this week I could not at all think of going anywhere. Being alone was never fearsome for me, having my own self for company for a few hours was a routine and that for few a days was also OK. My mom had told me all about.. I suddenly heard a car door slam, and immediately looked at the clock. It was three in the morning and my mind raced to all kind of criminals. Smugglers, burglars, terrorists, all of them. I decided on burglars and “HOME ALONE” crossed my mind. Yes, someone might have seen my family going, and I had almost grounded myself in the house for the past week due to preparation leaves. I picked up my cell phone to call the police, SHOOT, the battery was dead, soon after I talked to my sister, it went dead and I forgot to charge it afterwards. I got my shawl and wrapped it tightly around myself, even though I was drenched to the skin and had slept in my day clothes and it was a summer evening, the shawl gave me a sense of security, I had almost reached the balcony when I heard some people talking in hushed voices, I just wanted to see their position and get to my parent’s room because the landline phone was placed there, I crossed my room tiptoed, my shawl trailing behind me like a cape, and all of a sudden a horrible clanking noise struck my ears from right behind me, my shawl actually touched the spoon stand on the table behind me and it fell with an ear-splitting noise, I was sure now that they’ll sense my presence, will come for me up here instantaneously, and my entire life swam before my eyes, I was about to lose hope, but then I decided to try until my last breath and moved a little quickly towards the balcony, the noise grew louder and louder as I reached it and I was about to pass out but I managed to keep myself awake and swung the balcony door open, I crawled (because I didn’t want to be seen) towards the grill and saw what was going on. No one was in the parking, but the voices were still loud, I gathered all the courage I had and stood up to my full height. All that commotion was created due to the end of some party which was going on in my neighbourhood.. I looked at my wrist watch again, it was four in the morning, I had wasted an hour, creating an imaginary robbery in which I was caught and if I hadn’t sneaked a peak from the balcony, I’d probably be dead in my own created story.

 

AND WHEN I BECAME A VAMPIRE..!!

Posted on

Life these days has turned very boring, not only for me but for a lot of people around me and near me, that is not because I am near them of course, in fact that is because we get bored with everything very easily. To rid ourselves of this boredom, the most preferred way is to watch a good movie on a weekend or some people even manage to watch a movie each day. Those people who watch a movie everyday does not seem to take an influence of these movies in their lives, but people like me, who could manage to watch very selective movies and that after very long intervals of time watch a movie so enthusiastically that they try to find the characters of those movies around them or turn into them more like.

I am a normal person, no matter how much I think that I don’t let these stupid English movies inspire me, can’t take refuge from their fascinating ideas and as a result I turned a day of my life into a complete havoc.

The story began when I woke up early in the morning to offer my prayers, I felt a weird sort of itching near my ankle of my right foot. I ignored it, not wishing to wear my spectacles at the moment because that would then turn me sleepless and I would not be able to catch an hour of sleep before going to uni. It was good that I decided to ignore it because that rest was the last best bit of the day left.

Being unaware of what was coming in my day ahead, I woke up after an hour, got ready and was leaving, when I realised the area which was itching like hell in the morning now bore two very identical marks, which were about 2mm in size each with a distance of about of 10-12 mm.

Now one glance at those marks, suddenly gave me a brain wave and I realised that i have seen such marks in movies, mythological pictures and read about them on mythological websites. These were clearly the markings of those who have just been bitten by a vampire!!! With this thought, my mind exploded with questions and ideas of intense diversity and I suddenly got excited. Definitely, the first question which came into my mind was that why was i not feeling empty and devoid of my soul? But then an answer erupted with the same vampire speed that my excitement is pretty much more than enough for now to fill in the space of my soul.. And who cares for a soul now that i have got ultimate super powers.

And with that excitement, i left for university to test my powers and make it memorable for the rest of my life…

For the first time in my life, I regretted having a van to pick me up, because I wanted to see what my speed was, but then thought that I’ll have plenty of other chances to observe that, right now I should go in van because if I would not, I’d be owing some explanation to the “VOLTURI” for not acting human and thus, grudgingly, I sat in the van.

While in the van, my head was buzzing with thoughts, I thought Woah man!! It sure is difficult to have to listen to so many thoughts at once and then commanded them to SHUT UP!! Right at that moment, I realised that I definitely could not read minds and those ideas were merely my own, asking me that what on earth, made a vampire to bite me on my foot? But then i thought that she might be in a hurry and thus she’d just let in enough venom to transform me, but the thought disappointed me that I’ve had no extra power.

Before leaving my house, I had double checked the colour of my eyes, to see what colour choices do I have, but no change made me think that probably being extra jubilant doesn’t change your eye colour and I might have turned into a vampire not a metamorphmagi to change my eye colour on will.

When I reached the university, I wished to check my strength and power; The first thing which came to my mind, to destroy, was my cell phone because it was now useless to me, I might have been able to reach any place instantaneously and so I started crushing my cell phone with my bare hands (because I’ve removed my gloves which I wore with a complete facial cover to hide my sparkly skin in the dazzling sunlight of Karachi), The cell phone did not crush but it sure left red marks of two keys of my cell phone on my palms. Disappointed again!! But I did not lose hope and thought that these powers might not have transferred initially & I haven’t watched the fourth part of Twilight in which Bella turned to a vampire and so I know not much of initial phases of transformations.

When my friend asked me what I was doing and why I was wearing so many winter clothes in the month of April, I responded quietly that I was suffering from fever and felt cold. I actually wanted her to check me for any signs of fever on my hand and forehead and shout aloud: Oh my God! Sam you are ice-cold… and she did exclaimed alright. But the words were not what I wanted to listen… In spite of it she mouthed, Oh my God Sam! You seem to have a very high fever, your skin is heated like hell!! Now this came as a real shock, but I was not going to give up. Since the day was short and soon it was time for me to leave for home. Not having eaten anything since morning because I thought that I won’t need any food now, I was feeling extremely hungry. But I again gave myself a feeble hope that it might been because I’m not used to of it and this hunger might be that for blood.

While on my way to main gate which is very far from my department i found a tree, a tree near which no students were present, i again tried my luck, and started climbing it with much difficulty now that I’ve had gloves and all my scarves and stuff covering my face and sore fingers underneath the gloves. Failure embraced me once again and i fell down with a thud,due to which students from the nearby sports ground came to see the source of commotion and found me lying flat on my back. I stood up with all the confidence I could muster and after muttering to them that I didn’t see the tree ran away from the spot. That run had two reasons: First one was to run away from that humiliating situation whereas second one was to give one last shot to my exhilarating thought. I ran very fast, wanted to zoom, more like, but again, i fell down. This time my shoe lace was the hindrance. Girls now started to ask me who I was running from, wishing not to be interrogated yet again, I came out from the gate which was very near, crossed the overhead bridge and simply rode to my way home without further ado.

And from that day onwards I’d never think of these stupid mysteries because when I showed those marks to my mom, she told me that these were the result of a scratch of my new sandals.

This one or That one..??

Posted on

A dilemma I come across everyday in the evening is to decide my clothes for the next day. It is routine for me to open my cupboard, stand in front of it and gaze at my clothes to decide what will I be wearing tomorrow. It is not the lack of outfits which is confusing, no, it is my confusing mind which doesn’t allow me to decide or look up a dress for myself. This is what happens,

images
How about the black and orange one?
No, not this, this one’s got short sleeves and I don’t feel like wearing it today.
How about the puple one?
Nah, it needs alteration and I have been too busy last week to go to the tailor.
No problem, How about that cute dress you recently bought?
Too new, I am going to the university, not a fashion show.
How about that decent white one?
Too old, I do have a reputation you know!!
Fine, go for the black one then..
Just wore it last week.
The green one?
That one’s for day after tomorrow..
Fine, go ask mom.
I am not a child.
You are acting like one.
FINE, I’LL ASK HER IN THE MORNING.
NO NOW.
MOOOOM.. MOOOOOMM. CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THIS??
*Mom comes, picks up the Yellow one, and says ” How about this one honey?”
and I am all like, “Why didn’t I see this, damn..!! Thanks mom.”
That was easy, now who is going to press it??
Hey bro, can you do me a favour… PLEASEEEE???